WTF is Chocolate Rain?

WTF is "Chocolate Rain"? Yeah, I could google it. Heck I could even ask a human. But that would take all the fun out of it, right? "What?" You say?

Apparently in my walled-garden of 300 bookmarked sites, I have managed to miss the latest web meme (short for "phenomenon"), "Chocolate Rain". I don't even know what it is. Is it a music video? A song? An old TV commercial? A new TV commercial from some foriegn land? (Cuz you know how funny them Kiwis are!) I honestly have no clue.

If I don't know anything about it, how do I know think this is one of those viral internet thingies? Well I'll you why: In less than a week, I have heard at least 6 different people refer in some way, to "Chocolate Rain". And then they laugh. Profusely. And then everyone in the circle sings "chocolate rain" again, and they all laugh again. I mean like when you were telling your friends about Gary Brolsma doing the "Numa Numa Dance" and then everyone does the dance and starts laughing. Yeah- like that. Could Chocolate Rain be even bigger than the guys who dance on treadmills? You know those guys- um... well... I haven't seen that one either actually. Except when Ozzie did a spoof of it to open up his set at Ozzfest this year. And everyone laughed.

So how do I manage to miss the latest hip, trendy, viral, internet meme stuff until it's old news? Well, frankly, I got shit to do. Yes, I said it. I'm a grown man. I work hard, doing grown man shit all day. And when I get home, I'm still doin' shit. That's what adults do.

When I'm on the web I'm not neccessarily being "entertained". I'm checking two bank accounts and six credit cards and trying not to bounce shit. I have 5 email addresses! FIVE! I'm maintaining 5 more blogs and two websites. I'm producing two podcasts and watching twenty while updating and tweaking accounts on Flickr and YouTube and MySpace and this funky thing called Dizzler.com I just heard of a few weeks ago. I know I'm forgetting something else- that's how pre-occupied I am. Oh yeah and Digg.com. I know that one. If it hits the front page on Digg.com I might know about it within the next two weeks. I mean, except for the whole Carlos Mencia backlash. A perfect example of another dude who managed to get famous without me ever knowing who they are, until it's old news. In Internet-time that is. Oh by the way, LonelyGirl15 is dead. Yeah. Killed off by a religious cult. I saw it on an online NEWS SHOW?! (puhleeease!)

There are a ton of Web 2.0 revolutions I'm missing right now just by writing this blog entry (which incidently, used to be called an "online journal" until the term "blog" was coined by Peter Merholz in 1999). I'm not doing the Twittr Pownce Jaiku trifecta. I don't have a Facebook account. I don't have a Skype account. Heck I don't have an iTunes account. And I'm not even 70. Sure I shunned "that mp3 thing" for the longest too. I think I'm doing alright.

And since you're still reading, maybe you can tell me who the F is Rihanna? I've never seen or heard of this person before being inundated with banner ads from the worst of all sites ever (what exactly do you do with $580 million dollars?).

Yeah, I know I'm ranting. This post doesn't make the world a better place. I'm not giving out free hugs every Thursday or flying to Salt Lake City Utah to preach Atheism. (cool video btw! *thumbsup!*). I'm not winning any Air Guitar Championships. And we all know how lucrative that sport is. And I'm definitely not going to record a rap song and send it to 50 Cent for a chance to win a record deal in exchange for giving up all copyrights to my own work. Yeah- you heard me Curtis.

But while I'm writing this I can tell you what else I'm not doing- I'm not getting anything important done! And so is the conundrum we call, InterWeb.

No martians were hurt during the production of this entry.