New Toy Inside! New Toy Inside!!! (long awaited update)

Modern Truths:

AminoSweet = Aspartame

Cake = Lie

Bushfinger Music Project = SherwinRocks.com

New site, new music!  Enjoy!

Go now!  (We thank you for your support!)

Kalan Porter owes me $250!

photo courtesy google.com

Last night I was checking my webstats when I noticed a huge spike in hits this month for one of the oldest totally not serious tracks I've got online, "If You Could Read My Mind". It made no sense. However, I'm a pretty bright guy, so I grabbed a cup of chai and proceeded to practice my Google-Fu.

I vaguely remember the Gordon Lightfoot track. But that didn't connect. I dug deeper. Some chick named Amber did I remix of the Studio 54 hit. But nothing connected there either.

After some time, and a sidetrack onto sogou.com (go figure!) I think I figured it out- Canadian Idol contestant Kalan Porter. (ed. i didn't even know there was a Canadian Idol!). Apparently in a recent episode she did a cover of the 70's hit, and of course, the masses descend on the Internet to track it down. As a result, I've got yet another ludicrous bandwidth bill. And still no record deal.


Oh- and if you wanna hear If You Could Read My Mind" by The Bushfinger Music Project track, it's right here --> [cleeek] :)

edit: This just in- Kalan Porter- is a dude?!?

Where's the Music, Yo?

Sorry folks, I've been busy! Insert Valid Excuses #3-5 (because the first two are lame).

#3: I thought I was done with school. Instead, I have spent half the summer in a paperwork battle with University officials. I am currently losing. :(

#4: It's been 100+ degrees lately, which makes it kinda tough to turn off the air-conditioner. And if you've ever tried to record with the air-conditioner on in the studio, well, you know how unsuccessful that can be...

And finally,

#5: I have been signed on as the official un-official "Music Director" and soundtrack provider for MotorkultTV.com! Yes, that's right, I'm officially a Producer! (of sorts). I also got cajoled into to "consulting" for several upcoming projects of their parent company. The next few months should be quite interesting!

Oh and I can't forget to mention that I will be at the Podcast and New Media Expo on Sept. 28-30! Track me down and say the magic words, and get a free Promo CD! (Magic words: "Hey- I love your show! Can I have a CD?")

Meanwhile, I'm scanning through the archives for a suitable New Music Tuesday so stay tuned.

WTF is Chocolate Rain?

WTF is "Chocolate Rain"? Yeah, I could google it. Heck I could even ask a human. But that would take all the fun out of it, right? "What?" You say?

Apparently in my walled-garden of 300 bookmarked sites, I have managed to miss the latest web meme (short for "phenomenon"), "Chocolate Rain". I don't even know what it is. Is it a music video? A song? An old TV commercial? A new TV commercial from some foriegn land? (Cuz you know how funny them Kiwis are!) I honestly have no clue.

If I don't know anything about it, how do I know think this is one of those viral internet thingies? Well I'll you why: In less than a week, I have heard at least 6 different people refer in some way, to "Chocolate Rain". And then they laugh. Profusely. And then everyone in the circle sings "chocolate rain" again, and they all laugh again. I mean like when you were telling your friends about Gary Brolsma doing the "Numa Numa Dance" and then everyone does the dance and starts laughing. Yeah- like that. Could Chocolate Rain be even bigger than the guys who dance on treadmills? You know those guys- um... well... I haven't seen that one either actually. Except when Ozzie did a spoof of it to open up his set at Ozzfest this year. And everyone laughed.

So how do I manage to miss the latest hip, trendy, viral, internet meme stuff until it's old news? Well, frankly, I got shit to do. Yes, I said it. I'm a grown man. I work hard, doing grown man shit all day. And when I get home, I'm still doin' shit. That's what adults do.

When I'm on the web I'm not neccessarily being "entertained". I'm checking two bank accounts and six credit cards and trying not to bounce shit. I have 5 email addresses! FIVE! I'm maintaining 5 more blogs and two websites. I'm producing two podcasts and watching twenty while updating and tweaking accounts on Flickr and YouTube and MySpace and this funky thing called Dizzler.com I just heard of a few weeks ago. I know I'm forgetting something else- that's how pre-occupied I am. Oh yeah and Digg.com. I know that one. If it hits the front page on Digg.com I might know about it within the next two weeks. I mean, except for the whole Carlos Mencia backlash. A perfect example of another dude who managed to get famous without me ever knowing who they are, until it's old news. In Internet-time that is. Oh by the way, LonelyGirl15 is dead. Yeah. Killed off by a religious cult. I saw it on an online NEWS SHOW?! (puhleeease!)

There are a ton of Web 2.0 revolutions I'm missing right now just by writing this blog entry (which incidently, used to be called an "online journal" until the term "blog" was coined by Peter Merholz in 1999). I'm not doing the Twittr Pownce Jaiku trifecta. I don't have a Facebook account. I don't have a Skype account. Heck I don't have an iTunes account. And I'm not even 70. Sure I shunned "that mp3 thing" for the longest too. I think I'm doing alright.

And since you're still reading, maybe you can tell me who the F is Rihanna? I've never seen or heard of this person before being inundated with banner ads from the worst of all sites ever (what exactly do you do with $580 million dollars?).

Yeah, I know I'm ranting. This post doesn't make the world a better place. I'm not giving out free hugs every Thursday or flying to Salt Lake City Utah to preach Atheism. (cool video btw! *thumbsup!*). I'm not winning any Air Guitar Championships. And we all know how lucrative that sport is. And I'm definitely not going to record a rap song and send it to 50 Cent for a chance to win a record deal in exchange for giving up all copyrights to my own work. Yeah- you heard me Curtis.

But while I'm writing this I can tell you what else I'm not doing- I'm not getting anything important done! And so is the conundrum we call, InterWeb.

No martians were hurt during the production of this entry.